Dollar Sign Name is Awe$ome

$ $ $ $ $ $ 
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Ke$sha: The Story of the $
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12147 Victory Bl. N. HollywoodOn his blog Stuff White People Like, author Christian Lander did not include musicians with dollar signs in their names. Why? Because white people hate them!

Take Ke$ha. Now, there’s a lot to dislike about the rather-coarse poplet, who seems to be encouraging seven-year-old girls to drink a handle and then cruise for men ten times their age. But the bulk of Ke$ha’s criticisms somehow focus on the dollar sign in her name. Perhaps people frown on her appropriation of a cultural nomenclature trailblazed by black rappers. (Yet somehow Jay-Z’s umlaut from his Reasonable Doubt days never took hold.)
But who cares? The fact is, having a $ in your moniker is amazing, and below are our top five rappers who do it. The only thing we can’t understand is why The Beatles weren’t The Beat£es and 50 Cent isn’t 50 ¢ent.

5. A$AP Rocky
Harlem rapper A$AP Rocky recently made waves for signing a deal worth three million dollar$, supposedly. But folks should have been talking about the fact that he has an entire dollar sign crew, made up of folks with names like A$AP Ferg, A$AP Ty Beats, A$AP Dom, A$AP Twelvy, and A$AP Nast. There’s only one word for this: $wag.

4. Too $hort
Reports of his death last month were greatly exaggerated. But, more annoyingly, people got the narrative wrong. They should have focused on the fact that Too $hort is a freaking pioneer of $ticking a dollar sign in your $tinking rap name.

3. Curren$y
We’ve complained in the past about how Curren$y is annoyingly fixated on weed. But we were younger when we wrote that, and now see the error of our ways. Because dude’$ handle has an hone$t to God dollar $ign in it!

2. Ty$
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Ty$ is a local guy who’$ starting to make some waves on the hippity-hop $cene$. But who cares! He ha$ a freaking dolla $ign in his nombre!

1. Ma$e
Everyone knows that Ma$e is arguably the greatest minister rapper ever to employ a dollar sign in his name. But who gives a $hit? Dude has a freakin’ “$” $ign in his name!

Ben Westhoff is the former L.A. Weekly music editor, and author of Dirty South and Original Gangstas: The Untold Story of Dr. Dre, Eazy-E, Ice Cube, Tupac Shakur, and the Birth of West Coast Rap. He’s written for Rolling Stone, Vice, Village Voice and Deadspin, and is currently a columnist for the Guardian.